Truth: My Life

Midnight love

2009-10-21T10:27:00.001-05:00

He caresses every inch of me
So dark and mysterious
Oh how I hate to love him so badly
But then I love to hate him in the same breath
He makes me furious
So cold and unfeeling
Yet I so crave to be near him
And we dance to love at midnight
(I just love it when we fight)
When our passion ignites a fire
With bated breath we glare at each other
In the end our love will win
Mmmn… I could just drink you in
Oh how sweet the aroma of your anger
And your kisses more intense
Each one stronger
And stronger
And, oh, so much stronger
As I melt away falling into you
Savouring this very moment
Making love out of spite
When we rendezvous at midnight

I Love you-(Letters to you)

2005-08-21T08:13:00.000-05:00

Every second I spend not telling you how much I LOVE you is a wasted moment that I cannot recapture. So I feel the need to say it, I need you like I need air to breathe. I say it for to make up for every second I'm not near you.
I love the lines in your forehead, and how they're more pronounced when you're upset.
I LOVE YOU
I love how you seem to smile when at night you sleep.
I LOVE YOU
I love your soft sweet kisses, their delicate and each one has its own character.
I LOVE YOU
I love it when you make me smile, i love it more when you make me mad. I love how you make me feel when i'm down.
I LOVE YOU
I love your innocence, everything seems new to you.
I LOVE YOU
I love that look you get when something puzzles you.
I LOVE YOU
I love how you bend your knees when you sit, I love how when you think no-one's looking you suck your tongue.
I LOVE YOU
I love that you're faithful.
I LOVE YOU
I love that you have dreams and aspirations.
I LOVE YOU
I love that you are a Strong Black man.
I L-O-V-E YOU
I Love that you are pure at heart. I love that you're true. I LOVE THAT YOU'RE A TERRIBLE LIAR YOU COULDNT LIE TO SAVE YOUR LIFE .

MOST OF ALL I LOVE THAT YOU LET ME LOVE YOU AND YOU WANT ME TO BE YOUR WIFE .
I love to hear your voice I love to kiss your ear. I love how I can always feel your presence when you're near.
I love you, I love what you bring out in me; a passion and a desire that makes me want to live, to wake up every morning just so I can say:
I LOVE YOU

Once Upon a Dream

2005-08-10T11:07:00.000-05:00

Once upon a blissful dream
there were two people on a stream
she was shy and kept away
he was light and free and gay (happy)
they would look and gaze and smile
she would blush just like a child
hearts entwined in love so true
just as clear as skies are blue
deep and longing was their lust
hidden in their lack of trust
though they knew it all along
learning soon their love was strong
As the night did chase the day
forever true their love would stay

SomeOne Else's Heart-letters to you

2005-08-10T10:31:00.000-05:00

My naive mind is led by a foolish soul
In search of love
My heartroken up it's only held together
by that glimmer of hope
it's the same old story
I knew it from the start
that i would fall in love
with someone else's heart
Deep inside me something cries
because when I look at you
I want to see love in your eyes
but then i think it through
and see it's asking too much of you
if i want more than a friend and an occassional "friendly fuck"
Now that I think of things... it's funny
because once agian i see
I'm falling in love with a heart
that doesnt belong to me

Truth be told

2005-08-09T22:48:00.000-05:00

Truth be told
I cant even volcalize what I feel when I'm near you
You have my body paralized
everytime I hear your voice

So much that when I close my eyes
I try to visualize
us embrassing and the feeling of you warmth

Truth be told
without you life has no meaning
there's no reason to go on
I shall never survive if you me
my heart will forvever be torne

Truth be told I want to be with you
to be awakened by your kiss
your sweetness and your powerful love
my hear cant seem to resist

Truth

2005-08-09T22:05:00.000-05:00

The truth is... I love you
I want you by my side

The truth is I care for you
so when you push me away a part of me dies

The truth is you have no idea the tears I have cried
The truth is when I said I was ok... I lied

The truth is I dont want to lose you
I wont know what to do

The truth is you dont know just how much I LOVE YOU

A Love Forgotten

2005-08-09T21:33:00.000-05:00

How could I forget the sound of your voice

and the beautiful words that your heart sang to me

How could I forget the very thought

that you and I were meant to be?

Our love seems impossible as time and distance seems further and further away

and when I speak to you I can hardly find the right words to say

Yet in silence we say a thousand things

a forgotten love of which a love bird sings

Have I forgotten a love so true?

How could I? I constantly think of you

When my skies are grey.. thoughts of you make them blue

A love... Not forgotten

But forever true

Forbbiden Love

2005-08-03T15:04:00.000-05:00

You have opened up my heart

I can hear your love calling

I can feel the pain through your eyes

And though the love we share is forbidden

I am compelled to give you what I have been given

A passionate love, as sweet as ripe unpicked cherries,

Like the freshness of a rose in the air,

I'd give anything to have you here

Oh what i'd give to taste that forbidden fruit,

The honey that flows from your lips,

To kiss that forbidden kiss

On the wings of a swift dove

To steal that forbidden love

Endless Love (Letters to You)

2005-08-03T14:02:00.000-05:00

A Kiss to your lips

is like the pure taste of heaven

it's what lights up my days

it's the warmth i feel when nights are cold

it is love

It's when we look into eachother's eyes

and nothing else seems to exist

It 's a feeling I can never seem to resist

It is LOVE and it's endless

It can never be broken

It's when we are together

and time has forzen

Murder

2005-06-24T09:58:00.000-05:00

Every new year rings in with murder, now it has become somewhat of a custom and I listen to hear how many are killed at the stroke of midnight.The story is the same year in year out, only this year it started on a high and just keeps climbing. I live in a community that is splat in the middle of a war. It is sandwiched by two feuding communities... we are often caught up in the cross fire.In the past two weeks over 15 people have been murdered just feet from my home and Lastnight five houses were set ablaze in retaliation. Mothers weep and families are torne apart. How could such a blessed country become so broken?... the moral fibres have been eroded and nobody cares much that the country has gone to the dogs. Those in 'power' shudder to admit that they really have no control over the country anymore, curruption has errupted and spiralled out of control, and the real power lies in the hands of the ones behind the gun.Politicians need to see life through they eyes of the average poor man or woman, they dont know the extent to which families are suffering, how many people are at their witts end and feel crime is their only way out, So when "the big man" comes along and give them guns and instruct them to do something with the promise of sparing their lives and making sure at the end of the day they wont starve to death even the youngest among us will jump at the opportunity.I nolonger wake up to the subtle morning music i had become so accustomed to birds chirping the mellow harmony of the wind... instead i'm awaken in the middle of the night by sirens and the sound of men walking through my backyard, and every-so-often gun shots echo around me.I had always said i will never leave this country, but every day it becomes clearer to me that if things continue to worsen then there might not be much of a country left.

Closure

2005-05-20T17:26:00.000-05:00

The wind flows endlessly consuming the darkness, in the depths of her sacred chambers she lookas at him and mourns. His eyes filled with scorn with every word he spat out her heart wrenched in agony the pain piercing her chest.
It had gotten to the point where the noise had faded but she chould see him slowly growing angrier, the viens in is neck pulsated sweat runing down his face his eyes a bloodshot red that she'd never seen before. She couldnt help but wonder how all these years had passed, where had the time went... old and worn she gave up. She never uttered a word to him... and i wept for her...
How could he stand there and say such slanderous things, why was there so much hate?
He went on and on, and inside me i could feel the blood boiling, but for the first time i sat quiet, unable to move. I remember telling myself "say something" but it was as if my mind and body were out of sync, i felt as though apart of me separated from myself and i couldnt understand it.
Inside i burned but my body shivered with cold sweat, i could hear my heart slow down and for just one split second i was at peace. But a glance at her told me she was breaking down, crumbling into nothingness and i was outraged once more, why did she sit and say nothing, and DO...nothing - it was beyond me. Until finally a piercing scream came from my lips and from the depths of my guts i felt my self jerk as i let out...

"SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP! SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUUUUUP!"

It took me a while before i realised what i'd said, and all at once there was silence. He looked at me, surprised angered and in utter disbelief.

"who you talkin to"
Was all he managed to say, and i looked at him and said nothing more.

That night i didn't sleep, my eyes were heavy and my body ready to give in but i did not sleep. I sat lookind into the darkness, until the sun came up again.

Our Shining Black Prince- Malcom X

2005-05-15T17:18:00.000-05:00

Eulogy of MalcomX Delivered by Ossy Davis at his funeralFaith Temple Church of GOD February 27th, 1965

Here - at this final hour, in this quiet place - Harlem has come to bid farewell to one of it's brightest hopes - extinguished now and gone from us forever. For Harlem is where he worked and where he struggled and fought - his homeof homes, where his heart was and where his people are - and it is, therefore, most fitting that we meet once again - in Harlem - to share to share these last moments with him.

For Harlem has never been gracious to those who have loved her, have fought her, and have defended her honour even to the death. it is not in the memory of man that this beleaguered, unfortunate, but nonetheless proud community has found a braver, more gallant young champion than this Afro-American that lies before us - unconqured still. I say the word again as he would want me to Afro-American - Afro-American Malcom, who was a master of most meticulous in use of his words. Nobody knew better than he the power words have over minds of men. Malcom had stopped being a "Negro" years ago. It had become too small, too puny, to weak a word for him. Malcom was bigger than that. Malcom had become an Afro-American and he wanted - so desperately - that we, that all his people, would become Afro-Americans too.

There are those who will consider it their duty, as friends of the Negro people, to tell us to revile him, to flee, even from the presence of his memory, to save ourselves by writing him out of the history of our turbulent times. Many will ask what Harlem finds to honour in this stormy, controversial and bold young Captain - and we will smile. Many will say turn away - away from this man, for he is not a man but a demon, a monster, a subverter and an enemy of the black man - and we will smile. They will say that he is of hate - a fanatic, a racist - who can only bring evil to the cause for which you struggle! And we will answer and say to them:

Did you ever talk to brother Malcom? Did you ever touch him, or have him smile at you? Did you ever really listen to him? Did he ever do a mean thing? Was he ever himself associated with violence or any public disturbance? For if you did you would know him. And if you knew him you whould know why we must honour him: Malcom was our manhood our living black manhood!

This was his meaning to his people. And, in honouring him, we honour the best in ourselves.

Last year, from Africa, he wrote these words to a friend:

'My Journey', he says, 'is amost ended, and I have a much broader scope than when i started out, which i beleive will add new life and dimension to our struggle for freedom and honour and dignity in the States. I am writing these things so that you will know for a fact the tremendous sympathy and support we have among the African States for our Human Rights struggle. The main thing is that we keep a United Front wherein our most valuable time and energy will not be wasted fighting eachother.

However we may have differed with him - or with eachother about him and his value as a man - let his going from us serve only to bring us together, now. Consigning these mortal remains to earth, the common mother of all, secure in the knowledge that what we place in the ground is no more no a man - but a seed- which, after the winter of our discontent, will come forth again to meet us.

And we will know him than for what he was and is - A Prince - our own Black Shinning Prince - who didnt hesitate to die, because he loved us so.

Join the One Campaign<--click here

2005-04-17T17:27:00.000-05:00

Check this out

Sounds of the night

2005-04-17T12:24:00.000-05:00

I'm awaken at four in the morning by the sound of shots being fired in the community next to mine, i counted more than thirty but was told the shooting was going on a full hour before i woke up and a half hour after. They seemed to be having a field day because this is more than 30 shots being fired without skipping a beat or taking a breath. i rolled over a few times and there was a 3 min break then i heard 5 more after another 5 mins 7 more and then 1,

it sounded like they were getting closer to me i heard a car pull onto the street then some loud music then another gunshot. so i did what we normally do, play dead def dumb whatever didnt move an inch because for some reason "they" like to walk through my back yard and on the roof.

i'm told that years ago before we moved here the yard used to be somewhat of a hangout spot for thieves and god knows what else and for the first couple years we couldnt get rid of them i mean they kept walking through the yard and used it as an escape route to the next street.

one night it was during a summer when i was in high school my brother and me and our two neighbours were playing cricket and someone went next door and shot a man a few times left him for dead jumped on my roof and escaped and when a guy down the road was robbed he chased the thief (shooting at him) and the guy ran into my yard and the yard is dark suh the theif just waited in the dark till they stopped searching n then he left.

ANYWAY ON THOSE ACCOUNTS WE KINDA LEARNED THE WHOLE PLAY DEAD THING, WHEN THE CAR LEFT WE ALL SIMPLY GOT UP, CLOSED THE WINDOWS TURNED OFF SUM LIGHTS AND EVERY ONE WENT BACK TO BED

MY LIL BRO SAID "mek dem tan deh tink dem have more bullet dan ppl like dem frightn r sumtin"

THEN HIM GUH RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP

To tell the truth i really couldnt be bothered, i sat up in bed for a while just listening to the sounds of the night. It went quite all of a sudden for a moment it was the silence that scared me, hmm...

Out in the streets they call it Murder "LIFE on the ROCK"

2005-04-14T16:10:00.000-05:00

JAMAICA, JAMDUNG, JAMROCK, MY LIFE MY HOME. OUR FUTURE LIES IN THE HANDS OF THE PEOPLE SELECTED TO GOVERN TO LEAD AND TO PROTECT US, AND THE PEOPLE HELL BENT ON DESTROYING THAT WHICH OUR FOREFATHERS FAUGHT TIRELESSLY FOR. WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY THAT WORSHIPS CRIME AND CRIMINALS, A SOCIETY WHERE PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO RISK THEIR LIVES FOR THOSE IN THE WRONG, POLICE SWORN TO PROTECT THE RIGHTS OF THE INNOCENT ARE CONTRIBUTING TO OUR DEMISE.

JAMAICA, A PLACE WHERE WE PLEDGE THAT OUT OF MANY SOCIAL CLASSES, SKIN COLOURS, POLITICAL LADDERS, CULTURES, AND BELIEFS WE ARE ONE. HAVE WE FORGOTTEN WHERE WE ARE COMING FROM? HOW HARD IT WAS AND HOW HARD IT IS TO MAKE IT IN THIS WORLD? WHEN WILL WE REALISE THAT THE WAY FORWARD IS NOT BY CHASTISING AND SLAYING CUTTING SHORT THE LIVES OF OUR OWN PEOPLE?
MANY OF US SIT ASIDE AND WATCH THE WALLS CRUMBLE, FEAR BECOMES OUR MASTER AND WE ACCEPT THAT WE CAN DO NOTHING TO CHANGE OUR PRESENT AND CLAIM OUR FUTURE.

I WAKE UP EVERYDAY WONDERING WHO IS NEXT, I'VE LONG PASSED THE TIMES WHEN I USED TO ASK "WHY?"
IT'S SO MUCH EASIER TO STAY ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN, UNTIL MURDER IS JUST AT YOUR DOOR STEPS AND YOU ARE FORCED TO LOOK IT DEAD IN THE FACE. YOU TRY TO LOCK YOURSELF AWAY, BUT STILL OUTSIDE AT NIGHT YOU HEAR IT APPROACHING.

LIFE ON THE ROCK... (to be continued)

Out in the streets they call it Murder

2005-04-14T16:02:00.000-05:00

Intro: (Sample of Ini Kamoze)
Out in the streets, they call it murder!;

Verse 1:
Welcome to Jamrock, camp where di thugs dem camp at
Two pound a weed inna van bag
It inna yuh hand bag, yuh knapsack it inna yuh back pack
Di smell a give yuh girlfriend contact
Some bwoy nah notice, dem only come around like tourist
On di beach wid a few club sodas
Bedtime stories, and pose like dem name Chuck Norris
And dont know di real hardcore
Cause Sandals a nuh back too, di thugs dem weh do weh dem got to
And wont tink twice to shot yuh
Dont mek dem spot yuh, unless yuh carry guns a lot too
A pure tuff tings come at yuh

When Trenchtown man stop laugh and block-off traffic
Then dem wheel and pop off and dem start clap it
Wid di pin file dung and it a beat rappid
Police come inna jeep and dem caan stop it
Some seh dem a playboy (dem) a playboy rabbit
Funnyman a get dropped like a bad habit
So nuh bodda pose tuff if yuh dont have it
Rastafari stands alone!

Chorus:
(*Bounty Killa sample)
Welcome to Jamrock, Welcome to Jamrock
(Ini Kamoze sample)
Out in the streets, they call it mur.der!

Verse 2:
Welcome to Jamdown, poor people a dead at random
Political violence cyaan dun
Pure ghost and phantom, di yute dem get blind by stardom
Now di Kings Of Kings a call
Old man to pickney, so wave oonu hand if yuh wid mi
To see di sufferation sick mi
Dem suit nuh fit mi, to win election dem trick we
They they dont do nuttin at all

Come on lets face it, a ghetto educations basic
An' most a di yutes dem waste it
An' when dem waste it, dats when dem tek di guns replace it
den dem dont stand a chance at all
And dats why a nuff likkle yute have up some fat matic
Wid di extra magazine inna dem back pocket
And have leisure night time inna some black jacket
All who nah lock glocks a dem a lock rocket
dem will full yuh up a current like a short circuit
Dem a run a roadblock which part di cops block it
And from now till a mornin nuh stop clock it
If dem run outta rounds a bruk back ratchet

Chorus(*Bounty Killa sample)
Welcome to Jamrock (Southside, Northside)
Welcome to Jamrock (East Coast, West Coast, huh, yo)
Welcome to Jamrock (Conwell, Middlesex ?) Hey!
Welcome to Jamrock
(*Ini Kamoze sample)
Out in the streets, they call it murder!!!

Outro:
Jamaica Jamaica! Jamaica Jamaica! Now!
Jamaica Jamaica! Yo! Jamaica Jamaica!
Welcome to Jamrock, Welcome to Jamrock

Rush hour murder
Man shot dead in taxi on busy Kingston street
Observer Reporter
Thursday, April 14, 2005

Civilians watch as police investigators work at the scene of Linval Thompson's murder at the intersection of Trafalgar and Hope roads in Kingston yesterday. The taxi in which Thompson was a passenger when he was shot is pictured here with the enlarged hole in the rear windscreen created by the killer's bullets. (Photo: Michael Gordon)

IN what police believe to be a professional hit, Linval Thompson, an accounting clerk at First Global Financial Services in New Kingston was yesterday morning shot dead while he sat between two female passengers in the back seat of a taxi in rush hour traffic.

Thompson. had testified at murder trial
Thompson, who recently testified in a murder trial which led to the conviction of four men charged with the shooting deaths of his mother and stepfather three years ago at 100 Lane in Kingston, was on his way to work when he was slain.

He was also scheduled to attend an identification parade of a man picked up Tuesday in connection with the 100 Lane massacre of seven persons.

Police said yesterday that neither the driver, another passenger in the front seat, nor the two female passengers were injured by the shots fired by the gunman through the rear windscreen of the taxi at about 8:15 at the busy Trafalgar/Hope roads intersection.

Police theorise that Thompson, 23, was trailed from his home in Bridgeport, St Catherine, into Half-Way-Tree, where he boarded the taxi to get to work in New Kingston.

According to an eyewitness, two men on a Honda F3 motorcycle rode up to the Nissan taxi in which Thompson was travelling and opened fire on him.

"The bike stop about one car down from the taxi and then a guy in a yellow plaid shirt and a khaki pants jumped off and ran up to the taxi in the filter lane. I heard about five shots and then him jump back on the bike and them drive off," said the eyewitness.

Thompson was taken to Andrew's Memorial Hospital, about 50 metres away, where he was pronounced dead.

Linval Thompson's co-workers mourn his murder yesterday. (Photo: Michael Gordon)

"When I realised that one of the passengers get shot, I pulled over on the road," said the nervous taxi driver who asked not to be named. "The other three passengers that I had taken up in Half-Way-Tree got traumatised and ran out of the car. The two women that were sitting beside him were almost uncontrollable. Mi nuh know where them gone."

Thompson, the taxi driver said, "was a regular passenger".
Scores of people gathered at the hospital on hearing about the deadly morning attack.

"Just look at how neatly the holes were made in the back of the car windshield. It must be a superb marksman that do it," said another cab driver.

Mourning relatives and co-workers huddled in groups outside the hospital as they tried to come to grips with Thompson's slaying.

"He was very bubbly and ambitious," said one of the slain man's co-workers. "He started out as a bearer in 2001 and worked his way up. Now he is an audit clerk and he was doing his 'A' levels (exams)," she added.

"He was our champion athlete. He used to co-ordinate our sports day and he participated in everything. He was the champion athlete for GraceKennedy for two years in a row.
He even had a football match today (yesterday). His football gears and his school books are still in the car," said another co-worker. Neither wanted to give their names.

Marcia Henry, assistant vice-president for human resources at First Global, told the Observer that Thompson was a great team player who got along well with everyone.

"It has been very traumatic for the staff. There has been a lot of crying and work has literally slowed," Henry said. She said a counsellor was called in to speak to staff at the company's St Lucia Crescent office.

Two children were among the seven shot dead when heavily armed men attacked 100 Lane - a sprawling inner-city community located off the busy Red Hills Road - and sprayed bullets in the houses in the early morning of January 3, 2002.

The group of murderers, estimated to be about 50, also torched two houses in the attack which is believed to have been in reprisal for a New Year's Eve military-style assault on nearby Park Lane by gunmen dressed in police-type blue denim. One man was killed and another injured in that attack.

The murderers also turned their guns on goats which were in one of the yards during the attack on 100 Lane.

backside to rahtid!

2005-04-07T21:45:00.000-05:00

anybody waan tell mi what a gwaan
i a walk dung di road early dis mawnin minding my own business watching the sun cum up when mi only ere "kuff, kuff"
"hey gal yuh nuh rate big man"

and i si di chick runnin fi ar life no shoes pon ar foot a torn-up t-shirt and ar draaz jus a run guh up di road a ole on pon ar head a bawl out
"jee-sas crise jeesas-crise (JESUS CHRIST)woie jerry mi neva mean fi look"

now naturally this would have peeked my interest a little so i decided to go have a look (basically to fa** ina oda pple business ) suh i kotch mi arse pon a corna an kock mi ears.

mi ongle ere di yout gi out " ey gal weh yuh a run guh? mi nuh tell yuh seh mi clothes waan wash" an grab on pon ar hair an drag ar off a di road kicking and screaming into the yard.

i si dis oda chick in di yard a laff a talk bout "kick di gal inna ar face jerry shi too bright"

upon closer inspection of the situation i realised the chick getting the beating was the guys "baby-mother"

any the other chick... u guessed it "the girl on the side"
the guy live with his baby's mother and him decide fi invite the chick on the side to spend the night leaving the mother of his child to sleep on the living room floor.... she heard "squeeking" and peep inside the room to see her "man" grinding the fck outa the "chick on the side"
and she wid ar rude self guh seh "um jerry...a wah yuh a duh?"
and hense the b!tch lick dem weh she get...

Abuse, violence against women, we see this all over the world in one form or another and to be honest it sickens me. I'd throw myself off a cliff before i sit down and allow this to happen to me. I am convinced that if ever i end up imprisoned for a crimeit wold be for murder, because i will most definately kill any man who dares to strike me.

Why do these mindless dickheads see it fit to hit women, why do women sit and allow it to happen? i dont believe we are helpless! and then there is the famous line "he hits me because he loves me..." BULLSHIT i'd hate to think that any woman is stupid enough to believe that... but then again .... If a woman tek di raas knife and cut his dick off when a "man" put him han pon ar den the world would be a better place because then no other man would want to live through that so they wouldnt even want to imagine hitting a woman.

IF PEOPLE START SEEING MEN DISAPPEAR RADOMLY OR HERE OF MEN BEING RAPED CASTRSATED AND BEATEN AND LEFT FOR DEAD ON HIGHWAYS ANYWHERE INTHE WORLD... I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT..

enuff said
likkle more (later)

Hate (Letters)

2005-03-29T22:01:00.000-05:00

Hate, it's so powerful. I was sitting at my table at work today just thinking how deep hatred spawns. Hate for self and hate for others. At times i'm in a zone where i feel like the walls are closing in on me and no-one understands; then i can actually feel the blood in my veins burning through my skin.
Have you ever felt such hatred?
I can tell you sometimes life's a bitch. I remember sitting in my room feeling such hate and hurt not knowing where it was coming from. I'd sit, my eyes fixed on that knife i kept in my room, if only i could make it stop make it go away, and i'd grab the knife and cut something, anything... and for that brief moment it's gone. Strange huh? but true i'm at my greatest peace and there's blood gushing from my hands, because in that moment i know the source of my pain i know why i hurt.But i dont expect you to understand, you're to consumed with yourself to notice that i am in pain, and once again i self-destruct.

death in the night

2005-03-28T13:11:00.000-05:00

So here i am in my living room staking out GO-LO (http://www.golocaljamaica.com) it's where i practically live; and outside my window the socalled DONs of Spanish town walk through the community shooting at anything and everything that moves. I know probably not the picture of Jamaica many outsiders see on brochures with the white sandy beaches and friendly people. the truth is on the flip side of that picturesque landscape is the grime and gutter and filth of society. Gun men are made to seem like GODS and currupt polititans that feed these men and stir up the shit that's fast overflowing!

that's right people the shit stinks beyond the ghetto nad crime is no longer just a thing that we poor people in Jamaica are affected by. Cuz these criminals have been getting more sophisticated and the "UPTOWNIANS" now fear for their lives n richies. for those of you reading this who are completely lost.. like every society Jamaica has a pyramid of societal clasess
GuNmEn->extortionists->drug dealers->(DONs aka DONGORGANS) head the pyramid.
yeah for those of you thinking "huh?" the government has absolutely no control over di runnings of Jamaica... na
then next in line are the POLITRICKANS yes you heard right POLITRICKANS they are a cross between tight assed 'educated' (SOME MAY BEG TO DIFFER WHEN I LOOK AT IT MOST OF THEM ARE ASSES AND ONE HAS TO WONDER--A DIS RAAS FOOL A RUN DI COUNTRY??)
criminals and monkeys... much like the ones that are speculated to have attacked michael jackson... yeh but him a fi lata. somewhere in the mix are some not so currupt polititians but the majority kinda swollows them up. Omar DAvis runnin the country into debt and PJ Patterson... well him just siddung an mek sumbody tell him what to do when the shit hits the fan... apparently he has some dum advisers.

THEN THE POLICE FORCE! OH GOSH I'M SO EMBARASSED TO SAY THIS BUT MOST OF EM DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO TALK PROPERLY. THE POLITRICKANS NEED THEM TO COVER UP THEIR DIRTY ACTS. AND WHEN THE POLICE MURDERS SOMEONE THERES ALWAYS A TEN YEAR OLD CLIP OF A GUN THEY CLAIM THEY FOUND ON THE 'CRIMINAL' AND IF YOU WATCHT THE NEWS ENOUGH YOU MAY BE LUCKY TO SEE THEM 'FIND' THE SAME GUN TWO THREE TIMES. SEE THEY ARE THE REASON WHY PEOPLE DONT REPORT WHAT THEY KNOW BECUZ THE SAME POLICE SWORN TO PROTECT US ARE THE SAME ONES POINTING OUT THE 'INFORMER' TO THE DONS WHO IN TURN SEND THEIR GOONS TO KILL YOU.
RECENTLY THEY LAUNCHED THE NEW "OPPERATION KING FISH" RIDICULOUS! NEED I SAY MORE

then there is upper class Jamaica those are the people like the Matterlons and CHINS AND AMARS... yeh those are the rich people N.B apparently anyone of high colour that being a little less blacka (DARKER) dan di rest a we can squeeze themselves into dat group.

then is the group of PEOPLE WHO SO AMERICANISED--> SOME OF THESE PEOPLE NEVA SEE A PLANE YET LET ALONE TRAVEL TO ANOTHA COUNTRY YET THEY HAVE WHAT WE CALL ACCIDENT OR AMERICAN ACCENT.

THEN THERE IS THE GOUP OF ORDINARY HONEST HARDWORKING GRASSROOT JAMAICAN PEOPLE AND WE SUFFER THE MOST.

SEE THE TOP OF THE FOODCHAIN BEING THE DONS AND ALL SEE IT FIT TO JUST KILL OFF POOR PEOPLE LIKE US.

SO AT THIS TIME I'M SIPPING MY COFFEE JUST CHILLIN WHEN OUTSIDE MY WINDOW SOMEONE JUST DIED... AND THE SHOOTING HASNT STOPPED AND I'LL WAKE UP TOMORROW TO HEAR WHO IT WAS AND GO TO BED WONDERING WHO'S NEXT.

IT BOTHERS ME STILL QUITE FRANKLY I'M SICK OF IT, BUT IT HAS BECOME SO NATURAL THAT IT'S JUST ANOTHER DAY... JUST LOCK THE WINDOWS LOCK THE DOORS AND IF I HEAR SOMETHIN OUTSIDE MY WINDOW TURN OFF THE LIGHTS AND PRETEND I DIDNT.

MY LOVE

2005-03-04T17:03:00.000-05:00

Just incasre this is something ur not used to
open ur mind and heart to something new
understand and accept that i do care
know in confidence i'll always be there
never doubt my true intensions
my love spreads as wide and deep as the oceans
dont thing ur forever indebted to me
all i ask is that you let this love run free
and if i meet my end one day
dont think my love has weathered away
i'll always kiss away ur salty tears
and rescue you from all your fears

Falling in love with You

2005-02-13T18:23:00.000-05:00

I'm lost slowly drowning in you
watching my life slip away
slowly under the waters so blue
as the darkness devours the day
and i close my eyes again... and let go once more
all the time that's what it's like
falling into your core
like drowning in the middle of the ocean
with no-one to come to my rescue
like running out of air
like falling from the sky
like dying forever watching my life go by
i never see it coming
it catches me by surprise
i always seem to fall
when i'm looking in your eyes

Christianity and Haile Sellassie

2005-01-30T01:17:00.000-05:00

On my way home tonight i decided to stop by the barber shop where my boyfriend works, when i got there the guys were in the middle of a very heated discussion about religion, particularly the validity of christian beliefs as opposed to modern ratafarian beliefs. I must say this intrigued me, i mean who would have thought rowdy men would find something of such importance to talk about;) Anyway i sat on the outside with my ears cocked and eyes alert, (i didnt go inside for fear that they would notice a woman watching and i didnt want to startle the poor creatures)
The mix was a variety that i half expected and was half surprised to see (for some reason)
*MARCUS is the most educated of the bunch he also seemed to be a devout christan
*SEAN believer in christianity
*DEVON supporter of ras tafari
*DRED the "devoted" rasta man who seemed passionate about his beliefs.

(*MEANS NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED OR I JUST DONT REMEMBER)

Ok it's a saturday so there were far more guys in the shop but the four i pointed out are the key players in the discussion. I arrived in time to hear MARCUS say "i see JESUS/GOD every day"

DRED jumped to his feet to protest this when MARCUS continued to say "WHEN I SEE THE FISH SWIM I SEE GOD WHEN I FEEL THE WIND BLOW I SEE GOD..." and went on to name other acts of nature before finally saying " I SAY I SEE GOD BECAUSE WHO BUT HIM COULD CAUSE THE FISH TO SWIM THE WIND TO BLOW THE AIR TO FLOW THROUGH MY LUNGS..." Then came the debate of HAILE SELASSIE being "the true king of kings" DRED tried to convince us that the GOD we are searving does not exist, what amused me was eventhough he seemed so passionate about this man that is long gone this man that he so proudly worships... he really didnt know mauch about him, i mean he failed to provide sufficient proof as to why he is the true god.
What is more interesting is the CHRISTIAN MARCUS could tell DRED more about SELASSIE the very man he so heatedly deffended! MARCUS asked DRED
"SINCE YOU SO PROUDLY SPEAK OF SELASSIE I's GREATNESS TELL ME ONE THING HE HAS DONE FOR YOU?"

DRED's respond was lacking in enthusiasm i mean for about 3 mins all he said was
"A SELLASSIE MEK ME ACHIEVE"

I was compelled to ask "ACHIEVE WHAT?" as i looked him up and down but bit my lips. It was as if MARCUS could read my mind because he asked that very question, DRED's respond was "mi a get to dat now". HE NEVER DID 'GET TO IT'.

In all of this on the DRED'S side was DEVON, who as far as i'm concerned might as well just kept quiet because all he did was fuel the fire DRED was burning, a flame i like to call ignorance. Throughout the discussion i can only remember him constantly repeating "YOW JESUS DEH PON DI EART 36 YRS AN NEVA F*** A GAL"

I was both shocked and upset at this statement Jesus was on the earth in human form to complete God's work!! Even more shocking was the DRED kept shouting "BUN MI A BUN AN TRAMPLE JESUS UNDA MI FOOT"

HOW COULD SOMEONE EVEN THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT???

MARCUS AND SEAN continued to educate DRED i think it was unfortunate that he really didnt know what he was talking about. SEAN brought out what i think is one of the most valid points that came out of this discussion. HAILE SELASSIE WAS A CHRISTIAN HE SAID IT HIMSELF HE WAS IN A SENSE HUMBLE ENOUGH TO SAY TO THOSE WHO WORSHIPED HIM THAT HE IS NOT CHRIST!!!!
THERE IS A RECORDING OF HIM OPENLY STATING IT IN AN INTERVIEW AND THERE ARE VARIOUS RECORDS OF THINGS HE ACTUALLY SAID:

http://www.jamaicans.com/culture/rasta/interview_popup.shtml

go to this site and click the link to download n listen its only 44 secs.

http://www.rastafarispeaks.com/selassie/defender.html

NOW AFTER ESTABLISHING THAT I SHOULD LIKE TO THINK THAT ANY NORMAL HUMAN BEING WOULD AT LEAST KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT SOMETHING THEY ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT SO THAY CAN AT LEAST SPEAK KNOWLEDGEABLY ABOUT IT... BUT I FORGOT WE'RE NOT ALL LIKE THAT.

ONE OF THE THINGS THAT CAME OUT OF THE CONVERSATION THAT I THINK IS IMPORTANT FOR EVERYONE TO KNOW IS SOMETHING MARCUS SAID TO KNOW THE TRUTH IS TO EXPERIENCE IT. AND THIS COMES FORM THE BIBLE (SOMEWHERE) IT'S BASICALLY UP TO YOU TO SEEK THE TRUTH AND EXPERIENCE IT YOU CANT RELY ON WHAT SOMEONE ELSE SAYS AS THE TRUTH EVEN IF IT IS A PASTOR OR AN EXPERIENCED DEVOTED RASTAFARIAN OR WHOEVER, AT THE END OF THE DAY THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW THE TRUTH IS TO LIVE BREATH AND EXPERIENCE IT.

WHEN ALL OF THIS WAS HAPPENING I FELT GUILTY BECAUSE I FEEL IT WAS MY DUTY TO STEP IN AND SAY TO DRED "DO YOU EVEN REALISE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WHEN YOU SAY SUCH SLANDEROUS THINGS ABOUT THE SOURCE THAT CREATED YOU?" BUT I DIDNT.

I'D LIKE TO LEAVE YOU WITH SOMETING A BIT FUNNY BUT TRUE,'
SEAN AND MARCUS SAID
"SOME 'MAN' ONLY SEH "SELISSIE I,JAH RASTAFARI" WHEN DEM BELLY FULL BUT AT THE MOMENT OF DEATH OR NEAR DEATH OR WHEN SOMETHING GOES WRONG HIM CRY FI JESUS"

SUMTHIN TO THINK ABOUT.

My worst enemy

2005-01-28T18:10:00.000-05:00

My demons surround me
every hour every day
planning to devour me
and take my life away
i've wrestled with them all in a different time and place
but one of my demons
seemed to bare my face
from every crooked corner
to the fine details of my eyes
she even has my laugh
she loves it when i cry
in my pain she grows stronger
and one day she made me see
she's no ordinary demon
I'VE BEEN WRESTLING WITH ME

LOVE

2005-01-28T17:55:00.000-05:00

It's like the LUXURY of an exotic garden

We surrender our hearts

and allow our emotions to OVERFLOW

It's a lust for this VORTEX of enchantment

it seems so forbidden yet all the more we crave it

And its an ENIGMATIC force that makes our souls yearn to experience it

A Love Lost

2005-01-28T17:27:00.000-05:00

TEARS ARE MEANINGLESS NOW THAT I'M GONE
I SEE MYSELF WATCHING YOU
WANTING TO COMFORT YOU
BUT WHEN I REACH FOR YOUR SHOULDERS
MY HANDS GO RIGHT THROUGH
THE FEELINGS WITHIN ME ARE STILL ALIVE
BUT MY HEART NO-LONGER BEATS
AND I NEVER SAID GOODBYE
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW I LOVED YOU
MUCH MORE THAN WORDS CAN EXPRESS
AND HOW THE VERY THOUGHT OF YOU
WOULD FOREVER SEAL MY HAPPINESS
WHEN ALL THE WHILE YOU SEARCHED
FOR A GIRL WHOZ LOVE WAS TRUE
NEVER KNOWING SHE WAS THERE
I WAS RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU

why men cheat

2005-01-26T19:22:00.000-05:00

1. Because they can
2. Because the D-I-C-K and not the brain works overtime, itz like radar going BEEEP whenever a woman is in a mile of them
3. BECAUSE THEY DONT NEED A REASON TO

Women always act surprised whenever they find out that their man has been cheating on them... they always say "oh but things were fine we didnt HAVE any problems oh why oh why??" well ladies i have news for u, as pointed out in reasons 1 and 3 BECUZ THEY CAN AND THEY DONT NEED A REASON TO. Wake up and smell reality ladies cheating is a part of mens genetic make up. No perfect situation is going to stop a man from cheating (WELL THAT IS UNLESS HE'S IMPOTENT), and they'll lie through their teeth to cover it up.

The key to finding out the truth is to know imean really know your man... dont even bother to look for the so called tell tale signs u see in movies like another womans perfume all ova him (unless that "perfume" smells like fish) or lipstick on the shirt that just doesnt work. Every man is different so look for changes in behaviour.

Aother thing that ALWAYS WORKS. Men are BAD liars. its true you just have to know how and when to question them and what questions to ask. i mean if u just go at him with "where were u? who were u with?" they will catch on and be extra careful with what they say. The key is asking the same question in different ways and ask questions taht have nothing to do with them cheating like

WOMAN: "honey how was your day?"
MAN: I HAD AN OK/WONDERFUL/NOT TOO BAD/ DAY, BUSINESS AS USUAL"

WOMAN: "today i had a fabulous slice of cake for lunch what did u have, where did u eat?"

MAN: "SINCLEARS I HAD FISH IT WAS GR8"

WOMAN: "how was that meeting with your supervisor?"

Get the sucker to relax then the next day YES the next day say
"honey what was the name of that place u had lunch yesterday I'd like to visit it?"

MAN: claras (or whateva chances are he wont even remember what he told you yesterday) and it wont seem important cuz he's looking for signs from u that might imply that u suspect something.

and so tactical questioning coupled with you knowing him inside out will let u know what is what.

Now i have alot of amle friends and sure they're going "BUT NOT ALL MEN CHEAT AND THERE R SOME WITH LOGICAL REASONS FOR CHEATING"

BUT THAT IS LIKE 1% OF THE MALE POPULATION (WHO CHEAT) SO FOR EVERYONE ELSE THEY HAVE NO EXCUSES BESIDES THE THREE I'VE LISTED.
i know of a man caught with his DICK in a VAGINA by his wife i mean literally and even then he said "honey nothing was happening"

L8A

Take my breath Away

2005-01-24T13:32:00.000-05:00

You stole my very soul with that first kiss
It was flawless and deep
My heart fluttered away as I sank into you
I closed my eyes hoping it would never end
Savoring every moment
Your lips were soft,
Your breath warm and sweet
Planets collided around us
But nothing else mattered
It was the best kiss I ever had
And nothing has come close since.
You quickly became to me my best friend
And soon after, just as my heart predicted I fell in love with you.
I’ve tried desperately not to love you, but how do you tell yourself you don’t love someone when you know you do? And how do you live with this feeling you cant express?
You’re not perfect strangely that’s one of the things I like about you.
I’ve been holding out I haven’t been able to really care for anyone since I met you. It’s like everyone I meet has to measure up to you, has to remind me of you.
I haven’t found anyone like that simply because you’re unlike any other.
You are uniqueness in and out.
It all comes down to this, what I’ve coached myself into accepting
The most you can offer me is friendship
And I’d rather have you as a friend
Than not have you at all, and that’s good enough.

Truth

2005-01-24T13:25:00.000-05:00

The TRUTH is to know me, to really KNOW and understand me and who I am now, you’d have to see me at my worst, my best, my in betweens, you would have to see life through my eyes.
The truth is I’m at my happiest when I’m in love and throughout my life I’ve been consumed in either trying to find love or in it… or so I think… and so I think it’s fair to say love has become an obsession with me. But enough of that for now. Many people don’t know the true me because it’s hidden under layers of pretence; I have tried to portray myself as the kind of person people want me to be. A few years ago I realized that I changed so much trying to make everyone else happy that I sort of lost myself. Well THIS is the TRUE ME; music and love are the rhythms of my life they are the two that keep me sane, my entire world of happiness depends on my “dependence on other people” (I know that’s a mouthful), I am aggressive and I prefer a fight than to argue, I am a true friend, I don’t trust women, I am a romantic at heart, I am a lot of times emotionally unstable, when I hurt I cry, I get depressed for no apparent reason, I used to be suicidal, I love it when it rains J, poetry is my soul, I am not perfect.
All of this and more make up the real me; I have more or less accepted that. Now the question is, CAN YOU?

Full Circle

2005-01-24T13:18:00.000-05:00

It’s as if part of me became whole
The day you walked into my life
The earth was no longer cold
In you I found reason to stay alive
You are my survival
I feed off your essence
Live for your presence
Cry in your sorrow
Laugh in your happiness
For your smile I anticipate each tomorrow
When I’m with you I wish it never ends
I’m connected to you beyond the boundaries of this world
My love my best friend

NO means NO

2005-01-24T11:23:00.000-05:00

A FEW THINGS OCCURED TO ME WHILE WATCHING THE NEWS ONE DAY AND I WAS UTTERLY DISTURBED WHEN I SAW THAT SOMEONE RAPED AND MURDERED AN OLD LADY AND IT GOT ME THINKING "WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?" I MEAN SHIT ITS BAD ENOUGH WHEN U HEARD ABOUT WOMEN BEING FORCED TO HAVE SEX IN GENERAL BUT WHEN DID SOCIETY GRADUATE TO RAPING OLD WOMEN AND CHILDREN (INCLUDING BOYS, CASE IN POINT THE CATHOLIC PRIESTS SCANDAL)NOW I KNOW THINGS LIKE THIS HAVE HAPPENED FOR YEARS BUT THESE SICK PEOPLE NEED HAVE THEIR DICKS CUT OFF.

AND THEN THERE ARE CASES WHERE MEN FORCE WOMEN TO HAVE SEX AND THEN SWEAR THEY THOUGHT SHE WAS ENJOYING IT... HELLO WHEN DID NO BECOME A PART OF FOREPLAY (AS WAS POINTED OUT TO MY BY A FELLOW WEBER) ? OBVIOUSLY I MISSED THAT MEMO. U KNOW ONE DAY SOMEONE SHOULD FLIP THE SCRIPT AND ROUND UP SUM MEN (WELL THE ONES WHO DESERVE IT) N TIE THEM UP AND STUFF A HUGE VIBRATING DILDO UP THEIR ASS... HEY MAYBY THATS WHAT ANAL PROBINGS R ABOUT MAYBE THEY ARENT ALEINS AN THEIR JUST A BUNCH OF PISSED OF WOMEN DOING THE ABDUCTIONS. HMMM THERSE SOMETHIN TO THINK ABOUT

New Year Resolutions

2005-01-24T09:43:00.000-05:00

Yes people it's here again! The NEW YEAR... N'while itz not exactly the same as last year or the year before that what every new year has in common are empty promises and resolutions that only live for maybe a few weeks in the beginning. it's a cycle people, nothing REALLY gets done. Like last year my "resolution" was to lose 20lbs... i only started attempting to do that in november and at the end of the year i found that i was like 10 lbs heavier than i was when i made the resolution.
The moral of the story, make REALISTIC resolutions otherwise the new; newyear will come n u'll realise "hey i havent made good on my resolution" then that yearsz resolution will be to accomplish what u hadnt the previous year... and the cylce goes on and on.
Truthfully i say to hell with it! why bother make resolutions if u know u'll probably not act on them anyway? i say live everyday one day at a time.